Category Archives: The Wit and Wisdom of Dylan Raszewski, Age 5

Guest Post: Arts & Crafts With Dylan

Since last week was Thanksgiving and I was on the road, I haven’t had time to do even the minimal amount of work I usually do for a filler post. So instead, I’m handing over this Wednesday article to my not-quite-6-year-old. I am sure nothing will go wrong.

Daddy editorials in italics.


Today, we will be recycling our leftover McDonald’s Happy Meal packaging into the beginnings of a model town.

McDonald’s. Made of McDonald’s

  1. Rip the dots that make the top of the box stand up
    (Daddy translation: Tear the flaps at the top of the box at the perforations)
  2. Fold them down, then tape them down.
    (Daddy translation: Fold the flaps over the outside of the box and secure with tape. Turn the box upside-down)
  3. Tape the handles to the side of the box.
  4. Tape the fry container
    (Daddy translation: Center the fry box in the middle of the bottom of the happy meal box and secure with tape)
  5. Decorate it.
    (Don’t forget to draw the drive-thru)
  6. Don’t forget to write your name. That’s all.
  7. The open spot goes on the bottom.
    (This is the point where Dylan realized he’d never told you to turn the box upside-down in step 2)

 

 

Stately McNugget Manor

  1. Rip the dots that make the top of the box stand up
  2. Fold them down, then tape them down.
  3. Tape the handles to the side of the box.
  4. Get a 10-piece McNugget Box.
  5. Rip the supports that are the easiest ones to pull off.
    (Daddy translation: Peel apart the glued corner flaps and unfold the box)
  6. Tape the McNugget box to the Happy Meal box.
    (Daddy Translation: Turn the McNugget box upside-down and perch it on top of the upside-down Happy Meal box, secure with tape)
  7. Don’t forget: the open spot goes on the bottom.

Scenes from Walt Disney World with Dylan

At the Tower of Terror:

DADDY: Shall we be stoic, or shall we go crazy?

DYLAN: What does “Go crazy” mean?


While Tossing Coins into a fountain:

DYLAN: You know what I’m going to wish for? I’m going to wish that you didn’t have to wear your magicband.

DADDY: That seems like a silly thing to wish for.

DYLAN: Oh. What should I wish for?

DADDY: I don’t know, Something big, like world peace.

DYLAN: What’s world peace?

DADDY: It’s when all the people in the world stop fighting.

DYLAN: Okay, I’ll wish for that.

(Throws coin)

DYLAN: You know what I’m going to wish for next time? That there were more robots. Lots and lots of robots.

DADDY: (later, to mommy) <robot voice>AND-THEN-THERE-WILL-BE-PEACE</robot voice>


Halfway through a long, wet day at the Magic Kingdom:

DYLAN: If I had unlimited fastpasses, you know what I’d use them for? The bus back to the resort.