Scene: DYLAN’s room. Bedtime. DYLAN and DADDY are playing with his remote-controlled robot, who is fighting a fuzzy bear slipper.
Okay, we have to finish up and lights out.
But the bear isn’t the Big Boss. If he calls the Big Boss, the robots will have to fight him.
Dylan, it’s ten minutes past lights out. I think we’re going to have to defeat the bear and call it a night.
Dylan holds the robot remote to his ear as though it’s a phone
Okay. I called in the knight. He’ll be here in a few minutes to defeat the bear.
Scene: A lazy Sunday afternoon. DYLAN heads for the basement door.
Where are you going?
I’m gettin’ my painting stuff so I can paint.
You can’t paint right now. Someone needs to be with you because it’s messy. You need supervision for that.
But I can see pretty good already.
Scene: MOMMY is trying to jump-start her car. DYLAN has woken DADDY early for some company.
DYLAN: Why mommy’s car not working?
DADDY: Someone left the light on in her car all night so the battery died
DYLAN: You mean the dome light? (nb: DYLAN has previously gotten in trouble for leaving the dome light in DADDY’s car on)
DYLAN: Well I didn’t do it. Did you do it?
DYLAN: Then I think Mommy did it. Because she’s the only one left in our family.
Scene: DYLAN and MOMMY have just returned from church
DADDY: How was church?
DADDY: What did the priest talk about?
A pause. DYLAN struggles to remember.
DYLAN: (dismissively) Nothing you’d be interested in.
MOMMY: Oh. Dylan briefly lost his pants in church.
Scene: DADDY is watching a show. DYLAN wants to watch Dinosaur Train. DADDY has agreed to let him watch his show once DADDY’s show is finished
DYLAN: How much time does your show have?
DADDY pauses his show, causing a blue indicator bar showing the progress of his show
DADDY: Twenty minutes
Thirty seconds pass
DYLAN: Now how much time does your show have?
DADDY: A little less than twenty minutes
Thirty seconds pass
DYLAN: Daddy, now how long your show has?
DADDY: Ninteen minutes
Fifteen seconds pass
DYLAN: Now much longer your show is now?
DADDY: (irritated) Dylan, you’re nagging. If you ask me how long the show is one more time, you won’t be allowed to watch your show at all.
DYLAN: Even if I say please?
DADDY: Even if you say please.
DADDY: Because when you are a nag, people don’t want to do nice things for you.
One minute passes
DYLAN: (thinking) Can you… Show me… The blue line? The line that says how much of the show there is?
DADDY: … Touche, son.
A few days before Easter. Dylan is in the dining room on all fours, contemplating some early Easter candy.
Dylan: Woof woof! I’m a doggie! I please have some candy?
Daddy: Sorry. Chocolate isn’t good for doggies.
Dylan: (As though Daddy is very dim) I’m just pretending to be a doggie.
The Saturday Before Easter.
Dylan, at bedtime, after a long array of hugs, kisses, and goodnights from visiting family: “All this love is makin’ me sleepy.“
Easter Sunday. Mommy has hidden chocolate Easter eggs for an Easter Egg Hunt after Dinner.
An hour or so before dinner:
Dylan: (Holds up a chocolate egg) Look! I found this! Can I have it?
Mommy: It’s not time for the Easter egg hunt yet! I need to know which one that is so we can make sure we find them all later. Where did you find that one?
(Dylan holds up a flattened foil wrapper.)
Dylan: It was inside this.
Scene: A few days before Christmas. DYLAN is upstairs. MOMMY has retreated to the library to wrap presents. DADDY is in the family room.
Daddy? Where mommy is?
I’m not sure, son. Are you ready to go up to bed?
Not yet, Daddy. I was just… I just went upstairs so you wouldn’t see me unwrap the lollypop.