Tales From /lost+found 63: Wedding Bell Blues

I love a happy ending.

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THE DOCTOR
This is a ship. And technically, I am its captain.

RUTH
You mean…

(THE DOCTOR takes out a leather wallet)
THE DOCTOR
(to RUTH)
Do you want to marry him?

RUTH
Yes, of course

THE DOCTOR
(to LEO)
And you want to marry her?

LEO
Yeah.

THE DOCTOR
(to ALICE)
Can you think of any reason they shouldn’t be married?

ALICE
(surprised)
No.

(THE DOCTOR opens his wallet and a very long accordion of cards drops down from it. The longer the better. He starts pulling up the chain of cards looking at each one)

THE DOCTOR
Then by the power vested in me by the high council of the Time Lords, the Church of Teruvius Four, the Grand High Order of Achar, the League of Shadows, the Delian League and-

(A beat while THE DOCTOR scrutinizes one card in particular)

THE DOCTOR
(surprised)
And the state of New Jersey, I now pronounce you married to each other. You may exchange whatever bodily fluids you consider most appropriate under the circumstances.

(RUTH giggles. LEO grins. They kiss. THE DOCTOR turns away, modestly.)

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