Tales From /lost+found 6: The Bottom Half of the Internet

Let me be clear here. My purpose is not to suggest that this reality is better than our own. In many ways, it is worse. In many respects, this universe is the end result of a million little answers to the question, “What’s the most ridiculous thing to happen here that isn’t quite completely outside the realm of plausibility?”

In other ways, of course, it is exactly the same as the real world. For example, USENET.


 

From odysseus@nospam.test.com Thu Sep  4 16:40:04 GMT 2003
Article: 128485 of rec.arts.drwho
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From: odysseus@nospam.test.com (odysseus)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.drwho
Subject: Re: REVIEW ''Doctor Who and the Philadelphia Experiment'' (SPOILERS)
Date: 04 Sep 2003 16:40:04 -0000
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theycallmemisterthedoctor@aol.coma (They Call Me MISTER The Doctor!) wrote in message news:<20030921143654.07482.00001524@mb-j32.aol.com>:
>pete.DELETEME.gilgamesh@stop-spam.org (Pete Gilgamesh) wrote in message news:<3e2a657c.090110746.hsq456@posting.google.com>:
>>
>> I'll admit, as much as I've complained in the past about the Flamel episodes, I'm sorry to
>> see him go. Sam Neill brings a lot to the part and it was a major coup getting him to
>> come back one last time. All the same, gah, I hate these episode titles. The SHOW is
>> named DOCTOR WHO. Why would anyone think it was funny to put it in the episode title too?
>
> LOL TOO TRUE MATE. IT IS A JOKE BECAUSE THE FIRST ONE WAS CALLED DOCTOR WHO AND THE
> PHILOSOPHERS STONE AFTER THE HARRY POTTER NOVEL.
>

You see! That's everything that's wrong with this programme these days! REAL Doctor Who
never had to pander to stupid Yank audiences by giving episodes cutesy titles!

>> And is it just me, or was Flamel kind of flirting with the Doctor during the sequence in
>> the engine room? I wonder if he would have pulled that with the old Doctor. Good on them
>> for giving the fans what they've been asking for even if they're one Doctor too late.
>
> GAH NO THANK YOU FAR TOO CONTROVERCIAL. WHAT IF THERE ARE CHILDREN WATCHING?

Dude. Tone down the homophobia. It's 2003. You should be ashamed of yourself.

>> It was nice to see Flamel and the Doctor on different sides this time. It really
>> harkened back to his first appearance back in Season 2.

Character assassination is what it was. If he could live through all those centuries of war
and plague and everything else, we're really supposed to believe that the NAZIs are
SO BAD that he'd decide to blow up the planet?

>> But I know what we all really want to talk about is that ending. Just who is this
>> one-eyed soldier character and how did he get into the TARDIS?
>
> THE DOCTOR SURE BIT OFF MORE THAN HE CAN CHEW WITH THIS ONE.
>>
>> It seems pretty clear who they want us to think he is: a past version of the Doctor
>> from some secret past he's disowned.


Yer right. Like they would hire David Hasslehoff to play The Doctor. He's from bloody Knight Rider for chrissakes.


> IT CANT BE THE DOCTOR BECAUSE THE DOCTOR WOULD NEVER CARRY A GUN

Too right. Even you cretins should be able to figure out who he is. He uses HIS
OWN KEY, walks in, points a gun at the Doctor and demands to know what they're doing
in HIS TARDIS. How many times has the Doctor said that his TARDIS was STOLEN.
Baywatch-boy must be the original owner. It will probably turn out that the TARDIS
has secret weapons systems that Knight Rider used to use to blow up planets and
now that The Doctor knows about them the Doctor can use them to fight the War
Lords.

>> Grr. It's going to be so hard to wait until november for the next episode.
>>
>> ---
>> Pete Gilgamesh
>> ''I've been living a lie. There's nothing inside.''
>
>+-----+-----+-----+------+
>They Call Me MISTER The Doctor!
>For God King and Country!
>+-----+-----+-----+------+
---
--O

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