Doctor Who: Polyamory Cutaway

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So let me get this straight…

  • The Doctor is married to River Song.
  • River Song is the daughter of Amy Pond and Rory Williams
  • But River is also the child of the TARDIS thanks to a freaky three-way with the chameleon circuit exposure to vortex energies during conception
  • And the TARDIS is also The Doctor‘s wife
  • Which makes Rory and Amy the Doctor’s in-laws
  • The Doctor, for what it’s worth, has a daughter named Jenny
  • And a granddaughter, Susan
  • Susan is married to David Campbell
  • So that makes River and the TARDIS Jenny‘s stepmoms.
  • And Jenny is presumably Susan‘s aunt.
  • Jenny is played by Georgia Moffet
  • Georgia Moffet‘s father is Peter Moffet, who acts under the name Peter Davison
  • That’s the Fifth Doctor, by the way
  • David Tennant for what it’s worth is married to Georgia Moffet
  • Which means that David Tennant is Peter Davison‘s son-in-law
  • Meanwhile, Donna Noble is also The Doctor
  • She’s married to Shaun Temple.
  • And The Handy Doctor is at the least shacked up with Rose Tyler if they’re not married by now

Therefore…

The Doctor is married to:

  • The TARDIS
  • River Song (His wife’s daughter)
  • Jenny (His own daughter)
  • Shaun Temple
  • Rose Tyler (maybe)
  • Susan’s Grandmother (maybe)

Family reunions must be weird.

 

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