Part of an apartmentwarming package Leah found when she moved:

Leaving aside for the moment the fact that this roll of toilet paper was a gift created especially for you, Bozzuto Management has apparently trademarked the phrase "A Gift Created Especially For You."

Seen on a wall ad above a urinal in a restaurant in Timonium:

You may be thinking that seven hours seems to miss the definition of "Happy Hour". But look at what's being advertised. There is no such thing as unhappy hour at the strip club.

Seen in a Pastablitz in Ellicott City (Contrast enhanced):

Personally, I'd prefer the food be fresh and the service be good, but I'll take what I can get.

And now, here's a picture which taken out of context, looks like a prominent political figure having an orgasm.

OH NANCY PELOSI NO!